I’M TRYING TO FREAKING SLEEP                                                                          By Richard Livsey NEW YORK CITY - It seems lately that I might have a better chance at getting Jessica Alba's phone number than a good night sleep. For weeks, I've been haunted by construction workers, malfunctioning car alarms and sanitation trucks. The fact is, I'm a night person. I don't work 9 to 5, and my day usually ends around one or two in the morning, so I'm in bed later than the average guy. And just like every other healthy slave to the grind, I need a solid seven to eight hours of shut eye. I can get by on six hours, but anything less and I'm a grumpy Mofo. Especially if I've been drinking, then I need nine to ten hours to function at optimally. Now I understand that living in New York City comes with its pros and cons. On the plus side, we have an amazing nightlife, a thriving and diverse artistic community and the best pizza on the planet. Not to forget about that little baseball organization in the Bronx, otherwise known as the New York Yankees. But living here, does come with a heavy price, and it usually begins with the rent. Then there's the abundance of A-Holes that you have to deal with on a daily basis. The people that try to cram their way onto the train as you're trying to get off. The inconsiderate bastards that throw their garbage onto the streets, and then there's the crooks, the cons, the drug dealers and murderers. And don't forget that every terrorist perceives New York as a giant bull's eye. Besides all that, this is one of the most exciting cities to live in. I've been here for over a decade and it hasn't devoured me yet, so I feel like a lucky man. The only other thing that really gets me about this city, besides the poor air quality, is the noise. To quote an AC/DC song, Rock 'n' Roll ain't noise pollution . . . But jackhammers at eight in the morning certainly tops that list. Not too long ago, I was jarred from a restful sleep to the sound of a jackhammer pounding against the concrete across from my apartment. Now I'm not the type guy to harm an innocent man trying to make a living, but at that moment, I longed for a machine gun loaded with paintballs. I would have made him look like a walking, talking Jackson Pollock canvas. The next time, it was the garbage truck. Now I know that the trash has to be picked up, but does that high pitched alarm that everyone in a five block radius can hear have to be so damn loud? Then there's the car alarms. Why is it that the alarms that keep you up at night belong to the crappiest cars on the block? Hey nobody's going to steal your '83 Toyota Camry okay, so you can disconnect the alarm, and let me get some sleep. HOME BACK TO ARCHIVES ABOUT DONATE TO THIS SITE